I never could`ve seen this far
I never could`ve seen this coming
It seems like my world`s falling apart, Yeah
Why is everything so hard
I don`t think that I can deal with the things you said
It just won`t go away

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through, Yeah
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can`t let go
I just can`t find my way, Yeah
Without you I just can`t find my way

I don`t know what I should do now
I don`t know where I should go
I`m still here waiting for you
I`m lost when you`re not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can`t let you go

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

12:39 AM
but you never came...

I don't really how my life in the future going to be.. cause everyday daily life of mine is just sitting down the computer doing nothing but play games.. my life really wouldn't get anywhere just simply play games.. i know that i got to do something to get my life going.. but the problem is that, it seem that there is something stopping me from doing anything... i always got the urge to do something but in the end turn out i just playing games... i don't want my whole life wasted just simply playing games...for example, i always thinking i want to clear my room... as it's super messy but for some reason i just didn't do it... days after days.. sad thing to say...i want a change in my life....here there's an opportunities out there waiting me.. but i just can't get over my inner barrier...? i really don't know what to do? got the urge but didn't do anything about it... in end i gain nothing.. i want to get out my comfort zone~~~ stop here now... confuse of myself now... can anyone out there teach me how to get out of my comfort zone?

Sunday, June 26, 2005

11:32 PM
but you never came...

Thoughts of the day...
Today the thoughts of my life just come across my mind while chatting with a friend.
Different people have different ways of doing things. But in life, to earn a living or whatsoever, you to need go along people way of doing their thing in order to get what you want instead of doing way to get what u want..this apply especially to those that are superior than you.. eg: parents or boss..if you want it your they sure go against it.. Life is it had to be hypocrite or carry balls in order to get what you want?
I have no confidence in doing anything i want cause i have too many negative thoughts and worries in my mind.. And this will lead me to no where.. how sad.. i had read a book that teaches me about subconscious mind... it said that if keep having negative thoughts in your conscious mind and your subconscious will work toward what you think.. and produce the result.. likewise if you keep thinking positive you without any worries or negative thoughts ..your subconscious will work towards it and produce positive result.. Though, i know this laws of mind but like i still can't do it.. what should i do...?
Why in my life i dun really achieve anything, medals, trophy, compliment etc... is it that i never try and is it too late for me to try? In my life, what i achieve people can achieve it too but why can't i achieve something that people can't achieve ? Is it my attitude in doing things?
There is once i had meet a talented multi media designer though he mentally not stable... He willing to impart his skill to me, but i learn it half way i give up.. is the problem lies on me or him? that one good opportunity of my turning point of life gone.. Here come another opportunity to have my life change which is join the MLM company...will i able do it or give up halfway again?? And stay in my comfort always?

Monday, June 20, 2005

12:13 AM
but you never came...

how can we defined as a friend? but to me, a friends i a good listener of your woes... share idea with you.. correct you when did something because he can see thing better as a outsider of the situation.. encourage you as you reaching out for your success...concern about you.. help you whatever he/she can.. that's what is true friend to me.. may be i was wrong in same way...
People grow up in different stages.. the thing they see, they do, and even things happen around them make them change the concepts of life, and how they should go about it... that's why people had grown up differently.. BAD or GOOD...
I read a book about our subconscious mind, if we input negative thoughts in our mind, subconscious will go about doing and make it true... so if we expierence something bad in our life.. we will just accept it and not change it.. we must always thinking in a positive so that we can be a better person..I know what i typing today.. just what i feel lo... Jer, if reading my blog, hope you know what i trying to say.. the group is very concern about you and that you are not a loner too.. at least you got the group... y accept something you don't feel happy about?change it... BE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY... don't make anyone cry again...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

11:32 PM
but you never came...

Wah~~~!!! What a day for me today... damn shag sia.. yesterday night was working night shift.. then i m ask to jaga frm 0300hrs to 0530hrs.. when it reaches 0530hrs i paiseh wake my crew command up course it's his turn to jaga... so i tahan until 0620hrs.. at that time, really very sleepy le... when my crew commander woke up he is so pai seh as he sleep so long.. in order not to make him felt that and carry balls abit... i purposely talk cock with hiim until 0700hrs then go back sleep... phew.. that was last night..

After night shift i went for a breakfast with my team mates at kranji there... wah piang.. i order muslim food from muslim stall (fei hua right? haha) the chili samba damn spicy sia.. i sweat like hell.. plus the weather today also warm cum my fats..my sweat like i was bathing.. haha.. abit blow up la... hahaha...that coffee shop damn ulu sia.. keep black out.. then my team mate said like disco.. lights on and off.. funny sia...

Reach home around 11 plus to 12, prepare myself, watch tv and makan.. then again disappointed on myself.. play games instead of sleep or make my blog nice nice.. haha.. after a game or 2, i looked at the time and i then realise that i m going to late to meet my buddy for dinner... at that time i realise something that i m damn sleepy... but no time to sleep.. sob sob...
At dinner, my buddy they all said i look so MA CHU (macho) making me blush sia.. haha.. then i realise something fishy between 1 guy ( that is not use to be in our group) and 1 lady.. then later at night my buddy, terence tell me that the guy may be have a feeling for the lady...but the lady said that she don't really felt that chemisty at the moment...may be the past experience is still bothering her.. i sure really sure yet as i m single for 21 yrs :D but what i felt is that if don't like that person.. try to make it clear in case of further misunderstanding.. that led to broken of friendships...

sadly, i had to leave my buddy for a seminar can't join them for KA LA YONG YUAN OK.. at 1st don't wish to go for that seminar.. cause my long lost contact primary friend never go.. as it was one of the reason i want to go.. cause long time never see her.. so thought can meet her at the seminar.. but disappointing that she had to attend some course...then if i go i can't meet her and no company.. like weird weird like that... but in the end just force myself go... didn't regrett going...

when i reach there, my primary school friend jasmine's boyfriend,vincent, upon knowing i there.. give me a warm welcome and introduce himself.. i find him quite friendly.. and i just came to know that he praise me to jasmine..haha so into cloud 9.. haha..thanks for the praising...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

9:55 AM
but you never came...

Heehee... I finally get my butt out of my seat to get something done... haha.. it took me tooting(censored) long time to create my very own blog... i think at least few weeks... or months.. wahahaha..my site like so toot(censored) like that... i will spend more time beautify it then playing game.. hopefully i can do it.. and not 3minutes hot degree ( don't understand? translate to chinese) hahaha